As You Desire Read online

  “Thank you. Through all of this you’ve been there for me. You’ve always been a good friend.”

  The elf’s cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink. “It’s my pleasure to help you.”

  Her aquamarine eyes shone in the candlelight illuminating the room. “I can see you care a great deal for her.”

  He didn’t know how to respond, but Niri didn’t give him a chance, pivoting on her heel and disappearing into the kitchen. It was a statement he couldn’t deny, although he hadn’t allowed himself to think about how much he cared. He knew Lona was wrestling with her loss and her feelings towards the baby she’d never know. There was no mistaking the look of guilt and hopelessness in her eyes. Lona was spiralling because of circumstances beyond her control.

  He knew the head space she was in all too well.

  Before she’d drifted off to sleep, he’d recognised the coping mechanism slipping into place…emotional shutdown.

  “Here’s your tea,” Niri said, interrupting his thoughts.

  “Thanks.” He lifted the china cup to his lips and paused. “Nothing extra in here, right?”

  Niri laughed and the girlish giggle made him grin.

  “Nothing extra like…?”

  “Say, a magic potion or something?”

  Elves were known to use their magic without one’s knowledge if they thought it would help the person involved. The last thing he needed was elfin magic affecting his actions.

  Niri’s blue-green eyes sparkled with merriment. “I wouldn’t do that to you, Rafi. That’s just a regular chamomile and honey brew. Now take a sip.”

  He did as instructed as Niri watched. The strong brew was perfectly sweetened.

  “Good, yes?”

  “Ye—”

  They both turned towards the sound of heavy knocking on Niri’s front door.

  “Niri, it’s Vander and Thane.”

  Niri went to the door, wrenching it open with a delighted chuckle as the two men stepped inside.

  The three Djinns bowed their heads to one another in the customary brotherly greeting.

  “I’m glad I made a full pot of tea. Can I get you two a cup?”

  “I’ll take one,” Thane said, flashing a bright smile as he settled his huge body into one of Niri’s small chairs.

  Niri tilted her head and turned in Vander’s direction.

  “None for me.” Vander’s dark eyes connected with Rafi’s. “I’m glad you were there to help Lona.”

  I know how you feel about her and we’re cool.

  Rafi nodded, blinking in surprise as Vander’s voice faded from his mind. He’d forgotten to block his thoughts as the two genies had walked in, distracted by their arrival. He’d wondered how Vander would react to Lona being in his life right now, since the two of them had been in love a long time ago.

  I want Lona to be as happy as I am, married to her soul mate with a child on the way.

  Rafi lifted his hand as he put up a mental block to prevent Vander from learning about Lona’s miscarriage. “Get outta my head, man.”

  Thane shook his head. “I thought you two had your own little conversation going on over there.”

  Vander ignored his friend. “What are you blocking from me, Rafi?”

  “It’s rude to get in my head without asking.” Rafi took another sip of his tea.

  “That’s what my wife always says.”

  “Yeah, how is Karis?”

  “She wanted to come, but I convinced her to wait until Lona was stronger.”

  “You got any cookies to go with this tea?” Thane asked as Niri handed him his cup.

  He looked over at Rafi and Vander as Niri went into the kitchen again.

  “What? I’m starving. We’ve been on the go ever since we brought back Rue’s raggedy ass from dimensions unknown.”

  “Wait a minute…Rue’s here?”

  “Yeah, that’s why we’re here. The High Council had us bring him back to stand trial.”

  Vander rubbed his bald head and Rafi’s eyes fell to his bare arm.

  No genie bracelet. One of the perks of being a free Djinn.

  No metal reminders of what you were around your wrist.

  “Damn!” Rafi fought to keep his voice down. “Bringing him back here was a huge mistake.”

  “I agree. The High Council’s brand of justice is better than that traitor deserves.” Thane took two of the huge chocolate chip cookies Niri offered on a plate.

  “True, but that doesn’t matter right now.”

  “What are you talking about?” Vander asked, folding his massive arms across his chest. “You wanted him accounted for as much as we did.”

  “Rue’s got some kinda psychic connection to Lona.” Rafi resumed pacing the floor. “That’s how he got her to go along with his plan to hold Karis and her mother hostage.”

  “She’s a conduit for psychic energy,” Niri said, passing the plate of cookies to Thane. “Rue used her to that end.”

  “Shit.” Thane sat his teacup down on the table. “So bringing him back—”

  “Bringing him back here”—Rafi stopped pacing—“cost Lona her baby.”

  The silence in the room was deafening as Rafi gritted his teeth, setting off the headache pounding against his temples.

  “The High Council is not going to let him go because of Lona.”

  Niri flinched at the sound of Vander’s deep voice breaking the silence.

  He’d voiced the thought that had already been running through Rafi’s mind. “That’s why, one way or another, I’m going to make sure Rue releases Lona from this link they’ve got between them.”

  “His hold on her could be over now,” Niri said, stepping between Rafi and Vander. “We won’t know until she wakes up. Don’t you think we should wait and see how she fares?”

  Rafi hated to wait any longer, but Niri had a point. There could be no reason to disobey the High Council’s rules for meting out justice.

  “How long before we’d know whether she was free of this psychic link?”

  Niri shrugged. “Twenty-four to forty-eight hours? It’s hard to say. It will all depend on when Rue tries to reach out to her again. Given the position he’s in now, I don’t think you’ll have to wait long to find out.”

  “Forty-eight hours is the longest I’m willing to wait to make sure Rue never hurts Lona again.”

  “Whatever you need, I’ll help you,” Thane said, standing up.

  “Me, too.”

  Rafi met Vander’s gaze over Niri. “You have a family now.”

  Vander nodded, his gaze deadly serious. “I’m not going to do anything to jeopardise that, but you’re my family, too.”

  Rafi bowed to his Djinn brothers, thankful for their support. He wasn’t alone, no matter how often he felt he was.

  “Thanks.”

  “Forty-eight hours, then.” Vander moved towards the door, snagging a cookie from Niri as Thane joined him. The two of them dwarfed the small entryway.

  “I’ll be in touch,” Rafi said as they stepped outside. “Good magic.”

  “Good magic,” the other genies replied with their eyes on Rafi.

  The unspoken understanding between each of them was clear.

  They would deal with Rue if he posed a threat to Lona in any way.

  Rafi watched his friends disappear into the night, thankful for their support. The Djinn Brotherhood’s loyalties always lay with the High Council, but when one of them had just cause and needed help, the Brotherhood took care of its own.

  * * * *

  Lona moaned in her sleep, willing herself to wake up from the nightmare drawing a scream into her throat. She opened her eyes, breathing hard, blinking in the flickering candles lighting the bedroom. Disorientated, she took in a deep breath as she remembered where she was and why.

  “You’re awake. How do you feel?” Lona turned her head to the side to see Rafi getting up to come and sit next to her. Just seeing him made her want to break down all over again. How could a man she hardly knew
show her so much concern, make her feel so safe, when the guy she’d loved blindly never had?

  “Tired, still.” Her throat tightened as Rafi smoothed her hair back from her face. “How long have I been sleeping?”

  “Almost twelve hours. Are you in any pain?”

  Yeah, I’ve got a million tiny cuts all over my heart.

  Lona sat up slowly, anticipating pain, and found nothing physically bothering her. “No pain. I’m good as new.”

  Rafi frowned. “Lona—”

  “I’m really thirsty.”

  “I’ll get you some water.”

  She watched him get up and leave the room, knowing he could’ve poofed a glass of water if he’d wanted. Apparently, he’d realised she needed a moment.

  Yep, you need a moment, a job…hey, a whole new life.

  Lona laughed without humour. She didn’t even know who she was anymore.

  Not a welcomed member of the Djinn Brotherhood.

  Not Rue’s lover.

  Not a mother-to-be.

  “Here’s your water.”

  Lona looked up at Rafi. She hadn’t heard him return to her side.

  “Thanks.”

  She took a long sip as Rafi sat back down, wishing he’d go and leave her to continue undermining her very existence. But the truth was, he was the only thing keeping her emotions—her fears—tethered. It was difficult holding his steady gaze, seeing the compassion and understanding in the maple-brown depths. She averted her face when she could take no more.

  Just go. Just let me—

  “Lona, I know you’re hurting right now. Searching for answers…for meaning to your personal pain.”

  “Rafi, I don’t want to talk—”

  “You don’t want to talk about it. But you should.”

  Lona looked at him again and wished she hadn’t. Her heart couldn’t take the level of warmth and empathy in his eyes. She tore her gaze away again, turning her face from his as she lay back against the pillows.

  “It does help.”

  Silence stretched between them. The minutes dripped like honey from a bottle and still Lona refused to look at him.

  “Okay, then I’ll talk.”

  Lona closed her eyes, holding back the tears threatening to fall. She was so not ready to hear another ‘it’s going to be all right’ speech.

  “A long time ago, I fell in love.”

  The husky timbre of Rafi’s voice pierced through her despair. She swallowed back her tears as he continued.

  “Sharon was everything I’d ever wanted in a woman.”

  Lona turned her head to look at Rafi, but now he’d turned his face from hers.

  “She was my best friend, my lover…we did everything together. We were happy and then she got pregnant.”

  Rafi dropped his head, blew out a breath, and Lona’s heartbeat sped up. There was so much tension in his body. She could see him inhaling before beginning again.

  “Sharon got very sick. The doctors of the time couldn’t help her. We were told to prepare for the worst…to consider giving up the baby inside of Sharon to save her life.”

  “Oh, Rafi.”

  Lona put her hand on Rafi’s thigh, feeling the tension in his body, her own situation forgotten as she saw the pain on his face.

  “Sharon wouldn’t do it. We both wanted the baby so badly. I couldn’t convince her to let go of our child.” Rafi shook his head as he placed his hand over Lona’s. “I hated asking her to, but I didn’t want to lose her.”

  “There was talk of a witch woman, knowledgeable in the ways of magic, who came to bathe in a certain pool. We were desperate for an answer…for a cure. I was determined to find her. To make her help Sharon.”

  “Did you find her?”

  “I did. I learnt she wasn’t a witch at all, but a genie. I told her my story and she agreed to help, but when we returned to my home I found out I was too late. Sharon had died.”

  Lona turned her palm upwards and laced her fingers with Rafi’s, tears filling her eyes as he drew in a ragged breath. She squeezed his hand as he finally met her gaze.

  “I begged this genie…pleaded with her that I’d do anything if she’d bring Sharon back to me. She kept telling me genies couldn’t reverse a death without serious consequences and certainly not two. Finally, she offered me a deal.”

  “What kind of deal?” Lona asked, knowing instinctively to dread his answer.

  “My life for that of my wife and unborn child. That was the only way she could justify using her power to bring them back. I had to become a genie. I accepted her terms and watched Sharon come back.” Rafi smiled. “We were overjoyed. Our baby’s heartbeat was strong within her once more—but then I had to tell her that I couldn’t stay with her.”

  Rafi glanced down at their clasped hands. “I got to hold her hand, just as I’m holding yours, and explain what I had done, then I had to say goodbye. I’ll never forget the look on her face.”

  “Oh, Rafi.”

  Lona’s heart ached for him and the terrible choice he’d been forced to make.

  “I was able to go back and see Sharon and my daughter many, many times, but being a genie, I couldn’t be the man or father they needed me to be. Eventually, we said goodbye for good. It was just too painful watching her mourn the loss of the relationship we’d once had every time I went to spend a little time with them.”

  Rafi let go of her hand, stood up and went to the window. A moment later, Lona swung her legs out of the bed to join him. The moon’s reflection shimmered over Niri’s beautiful flower garden, casting an ethereal glow over the foliage and flowers.

  “I watched them both grow older from a distance. I saw Sharon remarry. I was there with my daughter when she walked down the aisle, but they never knew. And when they both passed away, I felt like this weight had been lifted from my shoulders, only to be replaced by guilt that overwhelmed me for being freed from the pain of loving them.”

  “Rafi, I’m so sorry.”

  She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her face against his chest, breathing in the familiar scent of his skin.

  “I’m telling you this so you know that I really do get where you are in your head.” Rafi wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. “All the stuff that happened with Rue, losing the baby… I know you’re questioning your entire life right now and I’m not going to tell you everything’s going to be all right, because you have to figure that out for yourself, in your own time.”

  The dam of emotions Lona had been holding back disintegrated as she started to cry. The tears gave way to sobs as Rafi held her tighter and tighter and Lona just let go. She cried for her loss, she cried for the tender heart Rue had destroyed with his callous manipulations and she cried for Rafi’s heartache until there was nothing left but dry hiccoughs. She didn’t protest as he bent down, swung her up into his arms and took her back to Niri’s guest bed. Her eyelids slipped downwards, heavier than a ton of bricks as she gazed up at Rafi.

  “You’re incredible, you know that?”

  Rafi smiled, his handsome face highlighted in the flickering candlelight.

  “I’ve been told that once or twice, yes.” He grinned as she rolled her eyes. “No, seriously—I think you’re pretty damn amazing too, Lona.”

  Rafi leaned over and kissed her forehead.

  “Please get some sleep.”

  “I want to go ho—”

  Lona bit her lip as Rafi stared at her, no doubt checking out the rosy blush on her cheeks. “When can we go back to your place?”

  A shadow passed over Rafi’s face as he cleared his throat and stood.

  “Forty-eight hours, max.”

  For a nanosecond, Lona noticed that his warm brown eyes were as hard as copper coins, then he blinked and she wondered if she’d imagined it.

  “Okay.”

  “Sleep well. I’ll be right next door if you need anything.”

  He looked at her for one second, two seconds longer, before leaving the room.


  Lona settled back on the pillows and closed her eyes.

  She’d been about to say, ‘I want to go home.’

  Ridiculous.

  Tonight, she’d learnt just how far Rafi would go for the woman he loved.

  She’d also realised how much she wanted to be that woman now.

  Ridiculous with a side order of crazy.

  Lona closed her eyes.

  Damaged goods…that’s what you are.

  After everything he’d been through, Rafi deserved a woman above reproach. He deserved a woman without a messed up past like hers.

  Lona’s eyes burnt beneath her eyelids.

  Thank goodness she was fresh outta tears.

  Chapter Nine

  The cool concrete wall against Rue’s back offered little relief in the humid heat surrounding him. He glanced up at the glowing purple bonds around his wrists and a drop of sweat fell into his eyes, burning almost as badly as the bands anchoring his hands. Rue let out a low groan as he strained to free himself for the third time and failed.

  He was too weak, too tired and so damned hungry. His throat felt as dry as sandpaper and he’d kill a small animal for a glass of water. He let his head fall forward and his jaw ached thanks to the punch Thane had landed when he’d tried to escape from his hold.

  If…no, when he got out of here, he couldn’t wait to return the favour.

  A rumble echoed in the windowless cell and Rue realised it was his stomach. When had he last eaten?

  Images of the fine foods he used to take for granted floated before his eyes and he

  almost called out for the guards standing outside his door.

  Surely they intended to feed him?

  No—the High Council took pride in handling problems without violence, using instead

  the smallest measures of discomfort to break a person’s will. He’d refused to answer any of their questions for hours. He hadn’t uttered a word as they had marched him down the darkest hall to the cells they rarely used because discord among the members of the Djinn Brotherhood was rarely an issue.

  Rue grinned, then winced at the pain the small movement induced.

  Well, he’d given them an issue or two, hadn’t he? He knew they’d be back. They wanted answers. They wanted him to admit his treachery and explain his actions. They wanted his tearful apology.