As You Desire Read online

  She should’ve been on edge, given the fact that she hadn’t known exactly what was about to happen, but she’d felt strangely calm. Niri had encouraged her to relax and Lona hadn’t even protested when she’d been stripped of her robe. A swathe of royal blue silk had been laid across her breasts and thighs, giving her some modicum of modesty. She’d closed her eyes for what had seemed like a moment, drifting off to sleep to the sound of Niri’s voice. When she’d opened them again, several elves had been at her side, each one a beauty in her own unique way.

  She had soon lost track of how many touched her belly, feet, hands and head. Special oils had been rubbed into her skin as the sound of their soft chanting filled the room. She hadn’t been able to understand what they were saying, but had loved the song-like cadence of their language. The feeling of absolute serenity was unlike anything she’d ever experienced. She had been completely at ease with the strangers flitting around her, touching her body.

  Now maybe the elves would be able to tell her what was wrong with her.

  What about my baby?

  The answer seemed not to matter as she inhaled the soothing aroma wafting up from the burning candles in the room.

  “Lona?”

  She turned her head, surprised to find Niri by her side and the rest of the room empty.

  “How do you feel?”

  Lona stretched her body, testing her muscles, waiting for pain…and found none.

  “I feel good. I feel almost like normal.”

  Niri smiled, her aquamarine eyes focused on Lona’s face. “Do you want to get up now?”

  Lona reached for the elf’s outstretched hand and held the silk covering her breasts with her other hand as she sat up. She exhaled as Niri helped her back into her robe. Her limbs felt feather-light as she stood up.

  “Is it over? I don’t remember…”

  “I’ll tell you everything, but let’s get you dressed first. You must be hungry, hmm?” She handed Lona the yellow dress Rafi had given her. “Come up the stone path to my house when you’re dressed. I’ll have a snack prepared for us to enjoy outside and we’ll talk.”

  Lona nodded, dropping her head to stare at the dress in her hands. She slowly unfolded the dress to find her sandals and panties as Niri left. With each movement, she felt more like herself. She dressed quickly, hating the uneasiness that was slowly creeping back into her system.

  What would Niri tell her?

  The elf’s face and tone had given nothing away.

  Once dressed, she stepped outside and immediately missed the serene ambience behind the door as it clicked closed. She crossed the garden, carefully watching her step on the cobbled stones beneath her sandals as birds sang in the trees overhead. The weather was perfect, as it always was here—never too hot or too cold. On any other occasion she would’ve stopped to admire the colourful, exotic and lush flowers blooming all around, but now she could only focus on reaching Niri’s home.

  Her heart dropped the moment she saw Rafi and Niri sitting at the wrought iron table in the middle of the garden, obviously deep in conversation. Somehow, she knew they were talking about her and, from the solemn expressions on their faces, whatever was being discussed wasn’t good.

  Rafi looked up first, standing with Niri as she came to the table. She took the chair offered, fully aware of his gaze running over her entire body before returning to hold her gaze. Lona was touched by the concern she saw in his eyes.

  “I’m all right.”

  “Good,” Rafi said, sitting back down.

  “So, tell me…what’s going on?”

  Lona saw Niri hesitate as she exchanged a look with Rafi.

  All the serenity she’d felt only moments ago seemed to seep from her pores in the stagnant silence.

  “Please, just tell me. I want to know. I’m not going to crumple. Is it the baby? Am I losing the baby? Is that what the pain means?”

  She knew she was rambling, but it seemed so much easier to keep talking than to hear whatever it was they were both reluctant to tell her.

  Niri shook her head. “No, that’s not why you’re having pain.”

  Lona swallowed, looking down at Niri’s hand as the elf laced her cool fingers with her own. “Then what is it?”

  “Not what…but who.” Niri tossed silvery locks of hair over her shoulder before wrapping her other hand around their interlaced ones. “Your pain is being caused by Rue.”

  Lona blinked, stunned for a moment. “Wh—what? That doesn’t make any sense.”

  “Rue’s been manipulating you, using your ability as a conduit of psychic energy to control you.”

  The rough edge to Rafi’s voice let her know exactly what he thought about the other man’s actions.

  “I don’t believe it.”

  Rue was using her as a conduit of psychic energy?

  She’d have laughed out loud if it hadn’t been for the serious looks on Niri and Rafi’s faces. The implications of what Niri said were unimaginable…and yet, how long had she yearned for some explanation for her own behaviour where he was concerned?

  “It’s true, Lona. You don’t have any physical manifestations of extra-sensory gifts, but your energy makes you a great conduit for others.”

  Lona’s mind was swirling, but she knew there was more…something else to rock her already wobbly world. “And how is he able to hurt me now? You said he’s the reason I’m having these weird pains.” She glanced at Rafi, whose eyes remained glued on her face as if he expected her to faint or scream.

  “The moment you stood up for yourself and defied him, his incredible hold over you weakened a great deal. His ability to make you do what he wanted lessened, but he still maintains a psychic connection to you. That’s how he’s able to hurt you.”

  “But…but, how? He’s in another dimension, for God’s sake!”

  Lona sat forward in the hard chair, her gaze shifting back and forth between Niri and Rafi. Niri sucked in a tight breath and Lona realised she was squeezing the elf’s small hand in a death-grip. She tried to pull away, but Niri held on tighter, her wide, blue eyes almost luminescent in the waning sunlight.

  “His seed… He’s able to because of the child growing within you. I doubt he’s even aware you are pregnant. For Rue, it’s all about maintaining whatever amount of control over you he can.”

  Lona slumped in her chair, sliding her hand free of Niri’s to touch her stomach. It was ironic. She had nothing else to show for all the time she’d been with Rue. No house to go home to and no money except for what she’d stashed away—hardly enough to sustain a decent way of life. All of her clothes and personal belongings were no doubt still in that dark castle where Rue had held Karis and her mother captive. She had no desire to go and retrieve them.

  Pathetic.

  She shuddered, overwhelmed by her situation and Niri’s news. What kind of mother would she be, when she couldn’t even accept she was having a baby?

  “This is wrong. Everything”—Lona looked down at her belly—“everything is just so wrong.”

  “Lona…please. Please don’t think of it like that. The baby is part of you, too, and you are full of light and love. You wouldn’t be able to be a conduit otherwise.”

  Lona tried to clear her throat, but the sound that emerged sounded more like a dry heave. Her thoughts were definitely not full of light and love right now. She hated herself for not being able to bond with the baby growing within her. How many times had she pushed back the thought that she wished she wasn’t pregnant at all?

  Tears filled her eyes as she realised that, even with Rue out of her life, he still had the power to ruin everything…even her hopes for becoming a mother.

  “The connection between me and Rue gets stronger as the baby grows, doesn’t it? That’s why the pain is getting worse.”

  Niri nodded, her expression as grave as Lona felt.

  “Is there a way to break this connection?”

  “If there is, we’ll find it,” Rafi said, his deep voice edged
with steel.

  “There’s something else…”

  Lona’s blood ran cold as Niri paused. “What is it? Am I or my baby in physical danger?”

  “Rue kept you young for many years, using his magic. Your body is still strong now, but without that healing magic, I’m afraid the nature of this pregnancy will take its toll on you physically.” Niri sighed. “When was the last time the two of you had one of those healing sessions?”

  “The night I conceived.”

  A moment of silence passed around the table and Lona squeezed her hands in her lap to keep from yelling with frustration. Towards the end, Rue had loved using her need for his healing magic to his advantage. The healing sessions had renewed her body, filled her with energy like nothing else she’d ever experienced in her life, and the end result had been a kick-ass libido that refused to be denied.

  “I could use my magic.”

  Lona looked across the table at Rafi in surprise.

  He held her gaze and a frisson of heat skittered across her skin.

  There is no way…

  The healing sessions were so intimate and, although she had detested them with Rue towards the end of their twisted relationship, she couldn’t imagine doing one with Rafi.

  “Lona, you need this. You need to be at your physical best for this pregnancy.” Niri touched her arm, her expression one of concern and empathy. “You must rest. Go home—”

  “Home?” Lona laughed, the shrill sound irritating her own ears. “I don’t have a home.”

  “You can stay with me for as long as you need to.”

  Lona whipped her head in Rafi’s direction. “Stay with you? I couldn’t possibly sta—”

  “It’s no problem. I’ve got the space. I’ll give you your space. You’ll get plenty of sunshine, fresh air…I’ll even cook for you on occasion. And when you need my magic, I’ll give it to you.”

  His choice of words brought heat to her cheeks as he smiled at her.

  The guy was a saint…a thoughtful, charming, gorgeous saint.

  “Plus, I can teleport you back here if the need arises. So, whaddya say?”

  Lona glanced at Niri, who flashed her the thumbs-up sign.

  “Well, all right…just until I can find my own place.”

  “Sure. We should go now. It’s been a long afternoon.”

  He stood and held out his hand to Niri, who laced her fingers with his. Lona watched him bend to kiss the elf on her cheek as she got to her feet.

  “Thank you, Niri.”

  “Yes—thank you for everything,” Lona said.

  On an impulse, she gave the elf a hug, grateful for her help.

  Niri nodded, her smile wide and lovely. “Rafi will take good care of you and, if you ever need me, I’m always here for you.”

  “Ready?” Rafi asked, offering his hand to her now.

  No.

  “Yes.” Lona felt the warmth of Rafi’s palm pressed against her own as she waved goodbye to Niri. The truth was that she wasn’t ready to deal with everything she’d learnt, but what choice did she have? She took a deep breath as Niri disappeared in the shimmering wave of energy engulfing them.

  Chapter Five

  Rue cursed out loud as his stomach twisted in agonising knots. He was so hungry. It was getting harder and harder to tell the hunger pains from the other aches causing discomfort. As a genie, he could go months, even maybe a year without food, but he loved food. He took great pleasure in having his meals specially prepared for him. Succulent fish, the finest meats, wines, fruits, cheeses…anything he desired had been made to order whenever and however he demanded it.

  Hell, he could have used his magic to conjure up some grub if he hadn’t been trapped in a place where his powers were all but useless. Now, stuck in this godforsaken dimension all alone with no food and only the water he could glean after a rainfall, he was dying for a real meal. He was dying to talk to another living soul. More than anything, he was dying to exact revenge.

  Rue moaned and the sound echoed throughout the darkened landscape. He couldn’t last much longer like this. He didn’t want to last much longer in this inky void with nothing to do, no one to order around and no five course meals. His stomach grumbled again and Rue closed his eyes, although open or shut it made no difference to what he could actually see.

  Wait… He could feel the low hum of energy moving up from his feet through the rest of his body. The familiar surge could only be from one source.

  Lona.

  If he concentrated hard enough, he could almost envision her before him…his beautiful, sweet, moral girlfriend. He’d never thought he’d admit to missing her. She was the exact opposite of him in every way, but she’d never seen it and he’d made sure she didn’t…well, until the end of their relationship, when it had simply become easier and more beneficial to just control her with his magic.

  Rue chuckled to himself and the gruff sound echoed around him.

  Lona probably still had no idea how much he’d paraded her around as his personal puppet. The High Council would’ve been appalled to know how he’d used her…the things he’d made her do. He’d always got a thrill out of breaking the rules.

  God, how he missed the simple things in life…like a hot shower or making his sexy, woefully trusting lover do whatever he wanted. He wished she were with him now, which surprised him. She had become the bane of his existence before he had been trapped between worlds, but now, after all the days and nights flowing together as one for so long, he wished she were around. With Lona by his side, maybe he’d be able to harness enough energy from her to escape.

  Strange that he felt closer to her now, despite the fact he was stuck wherever he was and she was in another dimension all together. There had been times he would’ve sworn he was within touching distance of her. He could close his eyes and hear her heartbeat. He could sense her fear, almost smell her skin.

  How was that possible?

  No food…no women…c’mon…you’re going mad.

  No—there was something to this connection he felt with her.

  “Lona…”

  The sound of his voice simply carried in circles around him as he pushed himself up off the rocky ground into a sitting position. His throat was so dry—he’d snatch the bottle from a babe’s mouth right about now.

  There had to be a way back…there just had to be.

  * * * *

  Rafi lay back on the couch, listening to the sound of the waves beating the sand outside the open window. He lifted the glass of chardonnay to his lips and took a long swallow.

  What a day.

  He was tired but restless. Thank goodness, Lona had turned in after a light supper of grilled salmon and a tossed garden salad they’d prepared together. He’d tried to keep the conversation flowing and Lona had replied with the required answers, but he could see she was exhausted. She’d left him in the kitchen after he’d insisted that he’d clean up and told her to go and get some rest.

  He was worried about her. There was no mistaking the mounting hysteria he could see in her eyes whenever she held his gaze, and he couldn’t blame her. Niri’s news had been disturbing.

  Rafi finished the contents of his glass and considered a refill. He was still trying to grapple with his new position as Lona’s guardian for the next few months.

  You didn’t tell her.

  Nope. And he wasn’t going to—at least, not right now. She had enough stuff to deal with, and so did he…like getting used to being around a female on a regular basis again. His gaze fell on a vase filled with seashells sitting on his bookshelf. Sharon had loved collecting them off the beach when they’d taken their nightly walks together. She’d been so easy to be around.

  Rafi got up from the couch and glanced in the direction of his bedroom door. There was no light shining underneath. He hoped Lona was getting some much needed rest. He considered giving her a little mental push to make sure that happened.

  No…you need to be able to hear her if she needs you.
>
  Using his gift would almost guarantee he would sleep like a rock.

  Rafi went to the fridge, opened the door and placed his hand on the bottle of wine. He slammed the door closed empty handed and stripped out of his shirt and shorts, down to the swimming trunks beneath. His body was wired and he longed for a swim. He glanced in the direction of his bedroom one more time before walking to the sliding door that led out to the deck.

  The warm night air washed over him and he sucked in a deep breath of sea and salt. He still couldn’t believe the High Council had appointed him to watch over Lona and that he’d agreed. It had been a long time since he’d been responsible for another person…well, other than the lucky bastards who stumbled upon his vessel. But this was different. Taking on this responsibility had been his choice.

  Rafi strode down the steps leading off the deck, drawn to the beckoning call of the water. At least he didn’t have to grant wishes for a while. He was officially unofficially on vacation from his current J-O-B. With that thought, he raced towards the water with only the moonlight to guide him. The ocean welcomed him with open arms as he cut through the waves to deeper waters. He swam until his heart pumped triple-time in his chest. Salt dripped from his hair as he trod upright in the water to see just how far away from shore he had gone. The faint lights of his beach home seemed far away.

  He lived for these moments of solace, when it was just him and nature. Out here, with his body half-submerged beneath the cool waves, he could almost imagine he was just another normal guy taking a reckless late night swim.

  But you’re not.

  No, he wasn’t…and because of his abilities he didn’t have to worry about drowning or sharks or anything else a normal guy would have to deal with. With a weary sigh, Rafi dipped back beneath the water’s surface and swam in the direction of his home. He didn’t want to leave Lona alone for too long, especially after the day she’d had.