As You Desire Read online

  Not appropriate, Lona.

  Rafi moved his head from her lap, settling onto his back. His muscled chest looked amazing in the moonlight.

  Lona stared at him for a second before slowly shifting her body until she lay beside him. The couch was large, but not quite large enough for her to comfortably lie on her back. She moved onto her side and he seemed to sense her presence. Lona froze as his ultra-warm body cradled hers. His heavy arm slipped under her neck as he pulled her even closer…as close as they could be with clothes on. She hardly breathed for a few minutes, unsure whether to get up or stay, then she relaxed.

  All the tension in her muscles melted away as his body heat seeped through her thin chemise, warming her when she should’ve been cold. Lona closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of his strong body pressed so close to hers. She was accustomed to sleeping in the bed alone.

  You’re used to being alone.

  It was as if the universe had decided she was better off on her own. She barely remembered her mother, who’d died when she was just a toddler. Her grandmother had raised her with love but she, too, had passed away, leaving her alone in the world.

  Oh, Nana!

  Lona held back a sob as she listened to the steady beat of Rafi’s heart. Her grandmother had introduced her to the world of spirits and magic. It was through her connection with the spirit world that she’d encountered Vander and fallen in love for the first time. She’d embraced the supernatural world with open arms. Once her grandmother had died, it hadn’t been a hard decision to leave behind the few friends she had to be with Vander, and for the first time she’d felt like she belonged with someone.

  And yet you messed that up, too.

  Lona squeezed her eyes shut, trying to erase the image of Rue’s face from her mind. Her decision to be with him had changed the course of her life in so many ways. She didn’t know how to get back on course, or even if it was possible.

  The thudding beat of Rafi’s heart vibrated against her back, helping her to relax as she stifled a yawn. She lay there listening to his breathing as her eyelids got heavier and heavier, thinking that she hadn’t felt so comfortable or so safe in a long, long time.

  * * * *

  Rafi drew the soft, warm body nestled in his arms closer. He hadn’t slept so soundly in years. There was nothing better than waking up next to a female who melded perfectly against him—

  What the hell? Rafi opened his eyes, blinking in surprise to see Lona fast asleep next to him. His arm was wrapped around her waist in a possessive fashion and it was obvious he’d held her close all night long.

  When did this happen?

  He had no recollection of her joining him on the couch. The mental suggestion he’d given her to rest peacefully, coupled with lack of sleep, had obviously zonked him out. Rays of sunshine poured in through the windows, highlighting the subtle russet shades of Lona’s hair. His gaze moved lower, noting the feminine dip of her waist, the curve of her hips. From the moment he’d met her, he’d appreciated her beauty, but her loveliness was even more breath-taking in the soft morning light. Her dark brows and lashes were a striking contrast to her milk and honey complexion. Delicate bone structure made him wonder if she was part elf, but she didn’t have elfin ears hiding behind all that hair, from what he could tell. She was simply a woman.

  A beautiful woman.

  Rafi dropped his gaze to her parted lips and knew they would feel as soft as the rest of her slender frame pressed so closely against him.

  Down, boy.

  His body refused to listen. Rafi silently cursed the rush of blood stiffening his cock. He hated to disturb her sleep, but he was pretty sure she didn’t want to wake up with his erection against her ass. With a thought, he dematerialised from the couch to his bedroom. He grabbed the coverlet from his bed and returned to the couch, gently tucking the blanket around her in a matter of seconds.

  There were some definite perks to being a Djinn.

  Rafi studied Lona for a moment and wondered what her plans would be now that she had her freedom. As far as he knew, she had no family—not even any close friends. He couldn’t help but wonder if she had anyone to help her.

  Not your problem, hero.

  Except she looked so fragile and he couldn’t forget how wrecked she’d been when he’d found her trembling in the dark.

  Breakfast.

  He could at least make sure she had something to eat when she woke up. Rafi left her side and returned to his bedroom to dress. Fixing breakfast didn’t make him a hero…just a gentleman.

  * * * *

  The sound of the ocean lulled Lona from dreamland. She was warm, but it wasn’t the same kind of all-consuming warmth she’d fallen asleep to…something was different.

  Lona opened her eyes to find Rafi gone and the coverlet from his bed wrapped around her. The smell of sand and surf surrounded her as a gentle breeze whipped through the open windows.

  “Rafi?”

  She sat up, surprised to find the wooden flooring warm beneath her feet. A quick scan of the rooms confirmed he was gone and that he had a serious thing for sea shells. There were glass vases of them in each tasteful, if not minimally decorated room. She went into the kitchen and saw a note with her name on it beneath a conch magnet on the fridge.

  Going to get breakfast. Make yourself at home.

  Home.

  She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt at home anywhere.

  A beeping sound emitting from the counter made her jump.

  Get a grip! It’s just the coffee maker.

  Lona took a deep breath. Who could blame her for being a little on edge? She’d been turned into a feline by her former lover, saved from a life of catnip by the man she’d first given her heart to what seemed like a lifetime ago, and was now in his best friend’s home after being imprisoned by the High Council.

  With a deep breath, Lona opened the first cabinet she saw and found a mug. She poured the hot brew all the way to the top, barely taking the time to blow on it before taking a big sip. It was stronger than she liked, and she preferred flavoured creamer and sugar, but after months of no coffee the bitter java tasted like heaven.

  For the first time in a while, her body felt normal and she actually felt hungry. She moved towards the patio door, opened it and stepped outside onto the deck. The sun was warm on her face and the sound of the birds calling overhead brought a smile to her face.

  No matter what happens, from this day forward, I will never take my freedom for granted. Lona unconsciously rubbed her belly as she stared down at the beach, watching the waves wash ashore.

  Out of nowhere, Rafi appeared.

  Chapter Three

  She knew it was him by the huge build of his body and the dark gleam of his hair in the sunlight. He was carrying two bags, one in each hand as he approached the deck. She lifted her hand to wave and a rush of excitement swept over her. Lona’s gaze drifted from the broad smile highlighting his handsome face. She admired his smooth chest, visible through the open white shirt fluttering in the wind. The dark khaki shorts riding low on his hips showed off taut abdominal muscles.

  Sexy as hell.

  Lona could feel her cheeks heating up. She hadn’t thought about sex in a very long time. Her last, rough encounter with Rue had completely crushed any desire to share her body in that way with anyone. The wild rush of sexual awareness racing through her was a shock.

  My hormones are completely outta whack.

  That had to be the reason.

  And the fact that you haven’t been with a man in almost four months.

  She couldn’t remember the last time she’d truly made love. Her unromantic couplings with Rue could hardly be called that. With a deep breath, she pushed her thoughts away as Rafi came up the steps to the deck.

  “Good morning, Lona. How are you feeling?”

  Unbelievably horny.

  “F—fine, thank you.”

  She was glad his back was to her as she followed him inside through the pati
o door.

  “Did you get any sleep last night?”

  “A little. I’m sorry I crowded you on the couch.”

  Rafi glanced up at her as he placed a carton of eggs on the counter. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sorry you didn’t get much sleep.”

  “I woke up in the middle of the night and decided to get a drink of water. I heard you call out in your sleep while I was in the kitchen…it sounded like you were having a nightmare.”

  Who’s Sharon?

  The question was on the tip of her tongue, but she held back, noticing the easy-going light fading from Rafi’s eyes as he stared at her.

  “Then what happened?”

  Lona swallowed. “I came over to you. I tried to wake you up, but you were fast asleep.”

  And then I rubbed your hair with your head in my lap. I couldn’t resist lying next to your ultrawarm, hard bod—

  “I guess we both had a rough night. That means we deserve a kick-ass breakfast. I wasn’t sure what you’d like, so I chose a variety of things for you.”

  Lona watched him unload fruit, croissants, juice and milk.

  “Wow, you didn’t have to go to so much trouble.”

  “No trouble at all for a genie.”

  Rafi winked at her as he rinsed the fruit.

  For months she had wanted someone to talk to, someone to share a meal with, and now she had a friendly, gorgeous man in front of her and she couldn’t think of one damn thing to say.

  “I’ve got fresh mango, pineapples, and melon. Do you want some scrambled eggs?”

  He moved around the kitchen, taking out a knife, a bowl and two plates. His attention was fully focused on the mango he began to peel and slice with chef-like expertise.

  “Rafi…thank you.”

  The gentle look in his eyes as he glanced up at her sent a million butterflies into flight in her stomach. She knew how to respond to anger and tension, but kindness…from a virtual stranger no less?

  “You’re thanking me for bringing you to my home after you fainted, for cosying up with me on the couch in the middle of the night, or for breakfast?”

  Rafi chuckled in the wake of her stunned silence.

  Her cheeks were burning. Lona knew he could see the unmistakable stain of her embarrassment.

  “Hey, I’m just teasing you,” Rafi said with a serious face. “You don’t have to thank me, Lona—it’s my pleasure.”

  His smile made her heart happy.

  “Now, try this.”

  Rafi held out a fork as he leaned across the counter towards her.

  Lona took the bite of mango he offered and nodded. “It’s delicious.”

  “Mangoes are in season in India.”

  “You went all the way to India for these?”

  “Yup.”

  Lona stared at him. After all this time being surrounded by magical beings, she was a little embarrassed to be surprised by anything.

  “Well, the mango is fantastic.”

  Rafi grinned. “Wait until you taste the kiwi.”

  “I still want to thank you for all three acts of kindness.”

  “Seriously, no problem. Were you cold last night? I left a lot of windows open.”

  “I wasn’t cold.”

  I had your body heat keeping me warm.

  He ran his gaze over her body and Lona remembered she was dressed in the simple, thin chemise she’d worn beneath that awful robe issued by the High Council. She brought up her arms across her breasts, embarrassed by what she must look like with no makeup, hideous clothing and uncombed hair.

  “Would you like something else to put on? You’ve gotta be dying to get out of that getup.”

  So she did look a fright.

  “Yes, I would.”

  Rafi smiled at her quick answer. “Umm, let’s see…you’re about a size eight—”

  “Six.” She struggled not to fidget beneath his sharp appraisal.

  “Right.”

  Lona watched the brilliant blue sphere of light dance between his lifted hands, reminded again of his awesome powers as a genie.

  “Here you go.”

  He handed her a canary-yellow sundress with a matching bikini swimsuit, bra and panties.

  “Thanks again.”

  She took the articles of clothing without meeting his eyes.

  “Would you like to take a shower while I finish up this fruit salad?”

  The idea sounded heavenly and she desperately needed a moment to herself to regroup.

  “I would love to.”

  Rafi nodded his approval. “Good. The bathroom’s to the left of my bedroom and there are towels in the linen closet.”

  She left him slicing pineapple in the kitchen. Once the bathroom door was firmly closed behind her, she sagged against the doorframe. Friendly conversation was so not her style…but then again, what was? For too long, she’d catered to one maniacal man’s demands…losing her sense of self in the process.

  And now you have his seed growing inside you.

  The sound of her hoarse groan seemed to echo in the pristine bathroom. She shook her head as if that would shake the unpleasant thought from her mind, but she couldn’t bring herself to think of the baby in any other way.

  A wave of nauseating pain coursed through her, wrenching a path around her body as if the growing child within her knew she was indifferent—incapable of any other emotion than regret and dread. Lona sucked in a quick breath, then panted as the arc of agony crested and faded away to a dull throb in her stomach. On shaky legs, she went to the shower, turned on the water and stepped in beneath the warm stream. She grabbed a bottle of shower gel and began vigorously scrubbing her skin. Tears mixed with the droplets of water hitting her face as she shampooed and conditioned her hair. Her throat felt tight in the moist air as she fought not to sob. She couldn’t let Rafi see her like this. She wouldn’t embarrass herself even more than she already had by fainting and invading his personal space last night.

  He had to give you clothes to wear, for heaven’s sake.

  She seemed to have no control over her own life.

  But you can. You just have to take back the control.

  The encouraging thought seemed to come from her grandmother, giving Lona the perspective she needed to stop wallowing in her present situation. She could change things— she could fix her life.

  With new-found determination, she shut off the water and stepped out of the shower. The scent of bacon and eggs penetrated the fragrant smell of Rafi’s soap and Lona’s stomach rumbled as she opened the linen closet in search of a towel.

  Damn!

  There were no towels in the closet.

  Lona turned towards the mirror, which was fog-free despite the steam in the air. She

  moved forward, placed her hands on the edge of the counter and stared at her reflection. Her hair now lay in soft, wet waves, almost reaching her bottom. She reached up to touch her breasts and a shudder of pleasure splintered from her nipple down between her thighs. There was no mistaking their fullness or ultra-sensitivity. The slight swell of her belly claimed her full attention as her hands slid down over the top of the rounded flesh.

  She’d imagined having a child, being a mother and sharing the world with her own flesh and blood.

  But not like this…not like this.

  Another whorl of pain swirled up within her; seemingly covering every inch of her skin, and Lona couldn’t help but cry out. The spears of agony poked at her sides and behind her eyes as she screamed and fell to her knees. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, and was barely aware of Rafi bursting into the bathroom.

  The sound of his deep voice dimly pierced through the haze around her, but she didn’t have the energy to respond. He was calling her name, demanding a response, but her vocal cords refused to work. Lona closed her eyes, wishing she could thank Rafi for picking her up off the cool floor. She couldn’t stop the tremors making her tremble in his arms as he carried her from the steam-filled room. A soft moan escaped her lips as th
e worst of the pain began to ebb and through it all she could hear Rafi speaking to her.

  “Lona, talk to me!”

  “I—I’m okay.” She opened her eyes, wishing she had fainted, anything to escape the fact that she was now naked in his arms, too weak to really care.

  “The hell you are. What’s wrong with you?”

  She was so close to his warm skin and he smelt amazing.

  Like the ocean and hot sand.

  Her wet body was pressed against his bare chest and his open shirt was completely soaked. Fully present in the moment now, Lona could feel the hard muscles of his arms tucked beneath her legs.

  “Please…please, just put me down.”

  Rafi complied immediately, bending down to place her on her feet. For a split second they stood staring at one another.

  “Are you sure you’re all right?”

  “I’m okay now, really.”

  She could see the doubt in his eyes. He didn’t believe her and she couldn’t think of anything to say to reassure him. Coherent thoughts escaped her again as Rafi’s gaze slipped from her face to travel down over her damp, naked body. He met her eyes half a second later, raised his hands and produced another brilliant blue sphere of light.

  Lona took the fluffy, white towel from his outstretched hand, quickly wrapping it around herself as he pivoted and walked towards the bedroom door.

  “Breakfast is ready when you are.”

  * * * *

  Rafi stabbed the eggs on his plate as a litany of expletives rolled over in his head. Try as he might, he couldn’t erase the image of Lona’s luscious, naked curves from his mind. She was gorgeous. Every man’s wet—hell, any kinda dream. If he closed his eyes, he’d see her perfect breasts, so full, begging to be touched.

  His cock tightened in his shorts at the thought of running his tongue across those big, dusky rose nipples, sucking on them until she screamed for him to take her. He wanted to feel the heavy weight of her hair as he stroked the silky, tawny strands. He imagined the softness of her ass cupped in his hands as he kissed the graceful column of her neck.